BANGO

Have you ever dreamed of banging the porn star Jenna Jameson?  Did you ever think that bingo would be the way to do it?  No, Jenna's not into bingo, but she's into Bango.

'O-69, ohhhh-69,' the bingo call has a whole new meaning.  See, we all don't think like Howard Stern, but luckily he's there for us, coming up with new games like Bango.

So what exactly is this Bango game and how's it going to get you into the sack with Jenna Jameson?  Bango is a modified version of bingo now played on the Howard Stern Show.  It's not exactly the bingo you played with your grandmother, as a matter of fact, even thinking about your grandmother while playing this version of bingo is somewhat disgusting.  Instead of anteing up a nickel hoping to win ten dollars your anteing up your dauber hoping to get it filled, or empty, by a porn star.  The winner of Stern's bingo gets a jackpot bingo that's at the end of the rainbow colored thong.  That's right, the first person to yell BANGO gets to bango the hell out of a porn star.

The shock, the horror, the...sign me up.  Some people may call it bingo prostitution, I call it good old American fun.  Does it disgrace the game of bingo?  Disgrace the game of bingo, that's coming out of some old fat lady who spends her social security check swallowing cartons of cigarrettes like Advil while scouring a spread of bingo cards like a hawk hoping to win that new Cadillac from those 'Dang Indians that put this stupid high stakes bingo tent up in the first place,' and that's a direct quote.

Is Howard Stern exploiting the poor defenseless women who are giving their bodies away for a bingo game?  Well spell bingo backwards and spank me like a dog if I'm wrong, but I think, if anything, Jenna Jameson's the one doing the exploiting.  Let's face it, the lady's getting paid to have sex, whether it's with Joe Schmo bingo champion or with Ron Jeremy.  You play bingo online because you enjoy playing the game.  Porn stars are porn stars because they enjoy fu...., having sex.

And if that's not the American Dream jackpot bingo then I'm a communist.  I don't know a man alive who hasn't dreamt of screwing Jenna Jameson, and half the girls I know have thought about, and most of the gay guys too, but none of them ever thought that bingo would be the way to their heart.  Leave that to the genius of Howard Stern. 

All I know is I'm an ohhhhh-69 away from my own bango right now, I'm just not sure whether to go to an Internet porn site or an online bingo room.